What Was I Thinking?

#onewhenIfeellikeit – Shocking Self-Indulgence

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Read the post title. You have been warned.

So, I’ve been reading inspiring books again. This is a BAD THING. When I read inspiring books, you know what happens? I get inspired to go out and conquer the world. This was a particularly big problem in my old company (you know, the one where I cried a lot?) because I’d come in to work raring to go and everybody else would instantly respond to my suggestions with “Oh, but that won’t work because…”, or “Oh, that’s a great idea but our clients want…”

So now I read inspiring books and I think “Hell, yeah. I’ll go out and DO stuff” But… for possibly the first time in my life, I’m left to my own devices and one of the many things I am awesome at is self-doubt.

Problem is… I don’t care about much. You can read all this stuff about finding what you love to do and how life is the best when work doesn’t feel like work but you know what? I just don’t give a shit about anything. I like alcohol. I like to sleep. I like playing games. I like sex. I like sugar. I like meat.

So fucking what?

I have a sneaking suspicion that this comes across in my job interviews. No, I don’t give a shit about your company or what you do. I just like to streamline processes. Is that not enough? I tried caring about my company’s goals and it doesn’t get you anywhere good.

It probably doesn’t help that the thing I am sort of trying to do now? Yeah, I have no training, no formal experience, I have no idea how British media actually works and I keep accidentally having breakfasts or beers or Twitter friendships with some of the most experienced and talented people in the industry. Way to bring out your fucking inadequacies.

On the bright side, I get to stay up as late and sleep in as late as I want. Win!

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Written by Weefz

15 February, 2011 at 12:36 am

Posted in ranting

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